i'll make an actual blog soon

but here's some pictures:
quinn and echo... i think this is the most adorable picture ever...


max and me!


and this is oregon:

this dog reminded me of muffin for some reason.

see more dog pictures

visiting seattle.

so i'm going to seattle in correlation with jesse being there. well i'll go there the day before [sunday] assuming andrew is okay with it, and andrew and i can ride bikes around the city or something.
then after monday night i'm riding with the band to san francisco. they're there for three days and thus i will be able to be there on my birthday! my favorite city on my birthday! and i'll leave there at about 12am on the 27th.
altogether the trip will cost about $350. that's plane tickets. obviously not counting food. other than that, i won't be spending much more. i figure it is a nice birthday present for myself, and that i should spend a little of my "economic stimulus" check on myself since i'm saving the rest.

no jesse and i aren't a couple. i won't date him while he is out on the road because it's much too stressful to deal with a long-distance relationship, let alone a long distance relationship in the BEGINNING of a relationship.
we have always liked one another but when we met he was very freshly out of his five-year relationship and i had just moved here.
anyway. he moves back to minneapolis for good in september. then we'll see. as this is the longest i've known someone as just a friend [almost seven months] before beginning to date, i feel positive about it.

my apprentice paperwork is filled out and everything. chris is still finishing up with training roni. even though roni is considered a groomer now she is still training.
also the other bather just got a job at the humane society and will be leaving, so until we get another bather, i'll have to wait.
luckily we just had a price increase, so i will be making more money when i begin grooming. if i work full time i make 60% commission, and if i work part time i make 45% commission.

my appetite is back to normal. thank god. although apparently when cells die, they release a lot of water, and i'm losing water like if the hoover dam sprung a leak.
i'm so fucking thirsty all the time. this should last for about two weeks.
i lifted a heavy bag of food for the dogs today and i'm sore in the lower back and abdomen. nothing terrible, but i need to remember to be careful. i'm still feeling things.

i'm getting annoyed with the retard in the house behind me. she comes out at random times when i let the dogs out in the middle of the night, and walter always barks.
i really just want to be like "GO BACK IN THE FUCKING HOUSE YOU FAT FUCKING RETARD" sometimes.

friends indeed.

marya is a wonderful person.

she and her son quinn brought me a huge loaf of fresh bread, a bag of potato chips, a cupcake [because i'm a cupcake, she says], marinara sauce, wheat gnocchi, thai dumplings, vegetable salad, babaganush, passion fruit tea, and red wine.

also a card. and yesterday seth left me a card that i didn't find until a few minutes ago. it has a picture of a dog on the front that says "like they say in obedience school, and inside it says 'heal'"

it feels good to have people like this in my life.

worst twelve hours of my life.

i have never felt or imagined the pain i just went through for the past 12 hours.

the surgery itself wasn't too painful. they numbed my cervix and i was able to watch them insert the coils into my fallopian tubes, which was weird and gross.
it is not an exagerration when i say the catheter was about 18 inches long. i am surprised that my throat didn't get tickled.
the ablation hurt a little. she said it was like an eight minute long pregnancy contraction. but really it wasn't too much worse than the cramps i feel with my period.

then on the ride home the pain started. i thought that when i had a kidney infection, that would've been the worst pain i'd ever feel. i've heard from numerous women who have given birth and had kidney infections that the kidney infection was much more painful.

but if you take a kidney infection and then multiply it by about four, that's what i felt. i honestly wanted someone to kill me.

took the anti-nausea medication. took the vicodin. laid down. got up, threw up. took a bath. felt better. took another vicodin. repeat above process.

finally after about 6 hours i fell asleep somehow.

when i woke up, i felt fine.
i still feel fine. there is a very very mild and dull ache in my abdomen, but that's it.

still haven't eaten though. not hungry. i will be by tomorrow. i pick up jesse at 7:15pm and we're going to eat at pizza luce, since he used to work there and eat there all the time, so he misses the pizza.

i don't know if i mentioned when it happened, but jesse drove to my house to help me when echo broke my finger.
figured i'd throw that out there since mommy did make the observation that my friends up here are more loyal than most of the friends i've had.

fat.

i may have figured out why i'm getting fat. or, why i'm hungry all the time.
besides the fact that i'm on control release effexor, which i know has something to do with it...
since my body is losing so much blood so often, it craves the nutrients that it is lacking when i am losing blood...
so it is always hungry in hopes that it can replenish those nutrients.

because despite your insistence to the contrary, i'm fucking fat.
grossly fat.
and once this is taken care of, i will be able to take care of myself better.